The first baby is so magical. From the moment you lay eyes on that tiny squished face and touch those little fingers and toes its’s true love. Everyone talks about those beautiful first days and floods their social media account with precious pictures. Very quickly, the focus shifts from the well-being of the expecting mother to the baby. Friends and family want to visit to see the baby. People bring gifts for the baby. With all of the attention on the baby, it’s easy to forget that the mom is going through a huge biological and emotional transformation.

My daughter Genevieve was born 40 hours after my water broke. I was in labor for 24 of those hours. To say I was exhausted is an understatement. I delivered her at a birth center and the protocol at most birth centers is to send the mother and baby home 4 hours after delivery as long as everyone is healthy. We were home by 9:00pm the night she was born. We called our families and showed off our gorgeous girl with her head of dark hair and then we went to bed. As soon as we laid down, Genevieve started screaming. She cried all night and I had no idea what I was doing.

The next morning my midwife came for a home visit and told me that Genevieve was trying to cluster feed which is why she cried all night. Cluster feeding is when babies want to feed every hour or so which quickly increases milk production. Thank goodness we were in Canada and had amazing postpartum care. The midwives came to our home for welfare visits on days 1, 3 and 7 after delivery. It was a relief not to have to leave my house while I was still bleeding, swollen, learning to breastfeed, sleep deprived and taking care of a 6 pound human. My midwife helped with breastfeeding, postpartum recovery questions and made sure I was eating and drinking enough. She also weighed Genevieve, checked her vital signs and development. This is standard care in Canada and many European countries.

My second daughter was born in the United States and my postpartum experience was very different. I had great prenatal care and her birth was a breeze but the postpartum period was much harder. I had to wrangle my toddler and newborn and drive myself to postpartum visits. I had more breastfeeding issues which was very stressful, I felt overwhelmed and my physical recovery was much slower.

According to the CDC, 1 in 8 women in the United States suffers from postpartum depression. The rate of postpartum depression increased 7 times from 2000 to 2015. It’s really not shocking considering how little postpartum support most women have. When I’m working with birth clients we spend a lot of time talking about postpartum recovery. I always discuss the 3 R’s.

How can you prepare for the postpartum period?

Rest

• Sleep when your baby sleeps! We hear this all the time but it’s so important.

• Brain and emotional health IS affected by sleep. Postpartum depression has been linked to not getting enough sleep. 

• Sleep for a minimum of 7-9 hours in a 24-hour period. 

Recover

• Be gentle with yourself.  In many cultures women take 30-40 days of rest postpartum. 

•  Avoid stairs for the first 3 days after giving birth to help your pelvic floor heal. Try to stay in bed as much as possible. 

• Keep an eye on your bleeding. If you start to bleed more heavily after tapering off, you are overdoing it. 

Receive Help

• Can a family member organize a meal train for the first few weeks?

• Use a meal delivery service.

• Have a chore list on the fridge for friends and family if they want to help.

• Can you hire a housekeeper to come once or twice a month for the first few months? 

• Set your boundaries! Have specific days and times when you would like visitors. It’s ok to say no. 

• If feasible, hire a postpartum doula.

• Find a local breastfeeding support group.

• Invest in postpartum self-care services like massage, Reflexology or Acupuncture. Supporting your physical recovery is just as important as your mental health.

Most importantly, reach out to your care provider, doula. partner, friend or email me if you are feeling depressed, anxious or unwell. You don’t have to through your postpartum year alone.